


Not There Yet

by LondonSpirit



Category: Schitt's Creek (TV) RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Denial of Feelings, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:28:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27525373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LondonSpirit/pseuds/LondonSpirit
Summary: Just a glimpse into Dan's and Noah's head.Realisations, and how they deal with it.
Relationships: Dan Levy/Noah Reid
Comments: 12
Kudos: 52





	Not There Yet

**Author's Note:**

> My very first try with these two. It's actually an excert of something bigger, so I might change it.  
> Just wanted to get it out there.  
> Still working in their voices.  
> Unbetad. All mistakes are mine and mine alone.  
> Everything here is fiction and just happening in my head.

_ ~Give me a life time of promises and a world of dreams _

_ Speak the language of love like you know what it means ~ _

Noah had been watching Dan all night. He tried not to, but he couldn't help himself. Dan was in full host mode, making sure everyone had drinks and food and was feeling okay. Noah tried to help, but Dan wasn't having it. 

"You're a guest," Dan said, wrestling the bottle out of Noah's grip. 

"But it's YOUR birthday," Noah protested. 

"Yes, but I'm the HOST." His tone was firm; it was his director's voice so Noah only shrugged. 

"Fine, but if you need help-" Dan only waved him off, before hurrying to the door to greet more guests. 

"Didn't let you help, huh?" Annie said, as she sidled up next to him. 

"Nope." Noah shook his head a bit. 

"Yeah, he never does, been there, done that. Not sure you've noticed yet, but our boss is a perfectionist, and we'll never reach his level." She grinned fondly. 

Noah snorted. "You don't say." 

She chuckled. "Although he's already slacking. His first cast party was so well structured that everyone-" she stopped as Dan wandered past, casting a very knowing glare in her direction. She giggled, raising her glass in his direction. "Let's just say, he's softened a bit." 

"Come on," Noah said, nudging her, "you can't tell only half the story." 

She opened her mouth again, but Dan appeared at her side, filling her glass again. 

"I hope you're not gossiping again, Murphy," he grumbled without much heat.

Annie beamed at him. "Wouldn't dare to." 

"Don't believe a word she says, Noah, she's only pissed that I didn't let her pick the cake." 

"Oh pfft, you were only worried it would've been something you'd actually liked." 

"Yeah, like the one two years ago, when you got that massive gluten filled monstrosity that barely anyone could eat." 

Noah listened to their friendly banter, feeling a bit out of sorts. As much as he'd been welcomed into the Schitt's Creek family, it was moments like these when he felt like an outsider. Everyone here had been there from the start, had been to Dan's birthday celebrations before. He knew they spent more time together than any film crew he'd been part of before. It was a lovely thing, and it really felt like family, and yet Noah couldn't help but feel a bit left out. 

"Hey, no moping around. It's my birthday, you're not allowed to bring down the mood." Dan's voice tore Noah out of his musings and as he looked up, Dan's dark eyes were watching him a bit too closely for comfort. 

"Sorry," Noah said, quirking a smile at him. 

"You okay?" Dan asked, stepping closer. His eyes narrowed as they flickered over Noah's face. 

Noah waved a hand. "Yeah, I'm good." 

"You sure? You looked a bit sad there for a moment." Leave it to Dan to pinpoint exactly how Noah was feeling. He often did that; not only with Noah, but with everyone on set. His ability to see right past any facades was scary sometimes, yet it was what made him such an excellent showrunner. He could always tell when someone wasn't feeling well or if something wasn't working in a scene. At least when it came to others. He often pushed himself too much, ignored his needs for sleep or proper nutrition, worked himself to the brink of exhaustion. Even today, on his own birthday, he was almost vibrating out of his skin with so much nervous energy it set Noah's teeth on edge. 

"I'm okay," Noah said, smiling at him, changing the subject. "You sure you don't need any help? I could-" 

Dan huffed a theatrical sigh. "Fine, if you must. You can make sure everyone has cake, I have the feeling Dad's big speech can't be contained for much longer." He glared in direction of Eugene who was staring at Dan with such force, Noah almost stepped back. 

He grinned relieved. "That I can do." He wandered off, feeling Dan's gaze on his back for a second. 

He ended up refilling glasses and handing out plates with cake to everyone who crossed his path. Annie raised an eyebrow at him as he switched her empty glass against a full one, and Emily straight out laughed as he asked her if she wanted more cake. 

"He lets you help?" she asked, ignoring the plate in Noah's hand. 

His ears started burning as he shrugged. "I basically forced him to," he said defensively. 

She only huffed. "Yeah, right." Her tone was so unbelieving that he pushed the plate in her hand and fled. 

*

He was in the kitchen, loading up the dishwasher as Annie poked her head in. 

"We're off. You coming?" 

He could hear Emily and Sarah laughing in the living room; they were the last. He should really join them. 

"Nah, you're all going in the same direction. I'm way across town, I'll take a cab." 

Annie bit her lip, clever eyes narrowed suspiciously, but she only nodded. She stepped closer and hugged him tightly. "Good night, Noah." There was something in her tone, Noah wasn't too keen on analyzing. He hugged her back and went back to cleaning up, while listening to the others saying their goodbyes. He heard the front door close, then Dan's deep sigh and a small thud; Noah dried his hands and walked into the living room. 

Dan was leaning heavily against the door, his head had fallen back, exposing the long line of his neck. His eyes were closed, and for a long moment Noah just watched. 

He looked exhausted, but there was a soft smile dancing over his face, and Noah had to swallow back a sudden lump in his throat. 

Dan's lids fluttered open; if he was surprised that Noah was still there, he didn't show it. Their eyes locked across the room. The soft music that had been playing all night stopped, and for one perfect moment everything was silent. Then a new song started and Noah perked up, blushing as he recognized it as one of his own. 

Dan smirked, pushing away from the door. His movements were slow as he walked to where Noah was standing. He held out a hand, one eyebrow rising in a silent question. Noah laid his hand in Dan's and suppressed a giggle as Dan pulled him close, his free hand settling in the small of his back. He did the same, the dark fabric of Dan's sweater soft against his fingers. Dan's hand against his was warm, his fingers threading carefully with Noah's. 

They swayed to the music, the small space between them full of unspoken things. 

"I love that song," Dan murmured, and before Noah could reply, Dan started singing. Low and a bit off-key, the words barely audible. 

" _Tryin' to say too much and just endin' up saying nothing at all. 'Til I'm pacin' the floors and I’m bouncin’ my head off the wall. And it ain't hard to tell this’ll all be well in the fall. If you can just hold on, hold on, hold on with me.'Cause I can only be so strong for so long without you holding on to me_." 

Noah's heart was racing; he was sure Dan must feel it. They were too close, their cheeks almost touching. 

" _Well, we're not there yet, but we're goin' home. But we're not there yet so hold on._ " Dan whispered the last words against Noah's ear, making him shiver. He knew their real meaning, knew what neither of them could've worded otherwise. 

He took a deep breath and leaned back, raising their joined hands. Dan took the hint and turned, eyes still closed as Noah twirled him around before letting go of his hand. 

Dan swayed a bit and as he slowly opened his eyes, the softness of them took Noah's breath away. His face was broadcasting too many things at once, things Noah couldn't decipher and things he knew were all over his own face as well. He ignored them all. Instead he smiled weakly. 

"Happy birthday, Daniel," he said quietly. He hesitated for a moment before he wrapped his arms around Dan, hugging him tightly. Dan instantly melted into his arms, a warm, solid weight against Noah. It had been a long day for him, he must've been exhausted, physically and emotionally. Noah held him tightly, not able to stop himself from running his hands over Dan's broad back. He felt so good in his arms. 

"Today was a great day," he murmured against Dan's neck, lips almost grazing the soft skin there. 

Dan only hummed, words not necessary anymore. They held each other for another moment, then Noah exhaled, gently pulling back. 

"I think it is time for me to head home," he said. 

Dan nodded, fingers still dancing over Noah's shoulders. 

His dark hair was a mess, his cheeks were flushed, and Noah had to curl his hands into fist to stop himself from touching. 

"Good night, Noah." Dan said, his voice croaky and low. He rubbed his face with both hands and ruffled them through his already tousled hair. 

Noah reached out to push back one errant curl before he could stop himself. 

The sound Dan made tore through Noah's heart with a painful pang, and he knew he had to leave instantly. 

"Good night, Daniel," he managed to say, ignoring his breaking voice. He hurried past him, not looking at him. He still felt Dan's hand on him, a caress all along his arm as he headed towards the door. 

Dan didn't follow him, but Noah felt his eyes on his back all the way outside, dark and burning like a small flame. 

***

_ ~ In your heart I see the start of every night and every day _

_ In your eyes I get lost, I get washed away _

_Just as long as I'm here in your arms I could be in no better place ~_

Dan was wandering the empty sets, bidding them goodbye, the camera silently trailing behind him. Once again he was wondering whether he'd made the right decision. Deep down he KNEW he did, but seeing the rooms his life had evolved around the past six years made his heart hurt. 

"Could you give me a minute?" he asked, sitting heavily on his -David's- bed. He was feeling tears prickle behind his lids, and he wasn't ready to cry on camera that soon. 

"Sure thing. We have enough anyways. Thank you, Dan, thank you so much." The small crew left, gently closing the door behind them. 

Dan exhaled shakily, a small sob working its way up his throat. Once again he let his gaze wander around the room, taking everything in one last time. Tomorrow they would start dismantling it, store away items that weren't easily replicated. Just in case. He had been thinking about that very long, but he was certain they would need them again. Maybe not tomorrow or next year, but some day. He'd personally rented a massive storage to keep everything safe. 

There was a soft knock on the door, which was kind of surreal to him. 

"Yeah?" His voice broke, and he had to try again. "Yes?" 

The door opened and Noah poked his head inside. "Just wanted to check on you," he said softly. "You okay?" He nudged the door open, but didn't enter the room. 

Dan sighed heavily and shrugged. "As much as one can be, I guess," he said, motioning Noah inside. "Shut the door?" he asked, needing a few more undisturbed moments. 

"I can leave." Noah hesitated, clearly sensing that Dan still wasn't ready to let go. 

Dan tsksed him. "Get in here, Reid," he grumbled, his mere presence easing the pain in his chest a bit. 

"Bossy," Noah smirked as he stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. He leaned against it, watching Dan for a moment before letting his gaze wander through the room. 

They could hear the crew beyond the thin walls, a soft murmur, soothing and far away. Dan took another shuddery breath, fingers curling around the soft throw on the bed. 

"Oh, I never noticed that it's here," Noah said into the silence. He walked towards the small dresser in the corner, picking up the frame standing on it. 

Dan made an undignified noise that was somewhere between a laugh and a snort, which made Noah smile. 

"Of course it's here, where else would David put it?" Dan said, getting up. 

Noah looked up, an intense expression on his face. "I guess this will go into your home now?" There was something in his tone that made Dan wince. 

Of course he had picked out a few things he wanted to take home; among other small things the receipt Patrick gave David way back when. It wasn't much, but for Dan it was everything. One small thing, which had kickstarted one of the most talked about relationships in television history. And even though he'd written it with high hopes, he'd never expected the massive impact such a small item had on the world outside their little show. 

"Oh," he muttered, rubbing a hand over his neck, suddenly realizing that maybe Noah would've liked to have it. "Do YOU want it?" he asked reluctantly. 

Noah instantly shook his head, smiling softly. "God no, it's yours. Or rather David's, in which case it's still yours, cause you're him." He was babbling, which wasn't his style. 

Dan noticed and narrowed his eyes at him. 

"Are YOU okay?" he asked, seeing a sharp crease between his brows. 

Noah shrugged, carefully putting the frame back in its place. Dan's heart clenched at the accuracy with how Noah adjusted it so it was exactly in the same spot as before. 

"As much as one can be, I guess," he said, quirking a weak smile at Dan. 

Hearing his own words out of Noah's mouth was too much. The tears just started to fall. 

"Oh hey, no- Shhhh, it's okay." Noah hurried over and pulled him in his arms. Dan instinctively wrapped his arms around his neck like he's done so many times before. Only this time it was just Dan and Noah, not David and Patrick. Yet it was just as comforting and needed. So Dan just clung to Noah, crying into his shirt. 

Noah made soothing noises, rubbing his hands in calming circles over Dan's back. As always Noah was warm, his hands steady even though his breathing was not. 

Everyone on set had been weepy today, there had been many tears; saying goodbye after such a long time to so many people was hard on everyone. Noah had seemed rather unfazed; Dan had thought that his coming in halfway through the show had been the reason. He wasn't as immersed as the rest of them, and not as much as Dan especially. He sobbed as a fresh wave of heartache surged through him. 

"Hey, it's okay, 'm here. Shhh, 's all good." Noah was muttering under his breath, holding Dan as closely as possible, cradling the back of his head with one hand. 

And then Dan felt the firm press of Noah's lips against his neck. It was such a familiar gesture that it took Dan a moment to realize that they weren't filming, that the small motion Noah had incorporated into Patrick wasn't Patrick at all. 

He inhaled sharply and pulled back a fraction. Noah's eyes were wide, a brief expression of regret darted over his face. 

Dan was oddly fascinated as he watched it change to surprise, then relief and settle into determination. Noah's lids fluttered before he looked up, finding Dan's questioning and rather confused gaze. Noah swallowed hard, but his eyes never left Dan's. 

"I'd say I'm sorry," Noah whispered, "but I'm not. I could also say it was just a force of habit, but it wasn't." One hand slipped to the side of Dan's face, cupping his cheek. Dan leaned into it; he couldn't have stopped himself even if he wanted to. 

"It was very deliberate," Noah continued, "That was all Noah." His voice broke and he cleared his throat. "All me," he repeated lowly, "finally able to make a move on my co-star and former boss." The last was so quiet, Dan almost leaned in to hear him. But their noses were already touching, their mouths tantalizingly close. Yet Noah didn't move closer, didn't do what he so obviously wanted to. He was waiting, fingers curled into Dan's hair, letting him play catch up. 

For once Dan's mind wasn't racing, his thoughts were blissfully quiet. Deep down inside he had known that this had been inevitable. He had thought about it extensively, especially since their quiet dance at his birthday. He had locked it away, deep in his memory, knowing very well he wasn't able to act on his feelings. They hadn't really talked about it, after. Dan always wanted to, but whenever he tried to, Noah had waved him off. 

And for some selfish reason, Dan had let him. He didn't want to lose him, but he also didn't want to risk his show. He knew they had something very special between them, and maybe they could get back to that once they wrapped. Noah seemed to be on the same page as him, so he didn't enforce that talk. 

It had taken a few days to get back to their easy friendship. There had been a new tension between them, which had only worked in their favor, helping their on-screen relationship so much that the crew had started to wonder. Never out loud, and never openly when he was around, but he knew. Still he had tried to keep it professional; and since Noah did the same, they managed to do just that. It had been strange to touch him, to kiss him after they had been this close that night he can't really forget. But with all the people around, the camera and the lights, it was just another day in the office, and they were both somehow able to treat it like that. 

They'd gotten through those last few weeks without a hitch; Dan had been too caught up in everything, too busy with wrapping everything up nicely that he had been able to push Noah to the very back of his mind. There had been too much else to think about; in his mind he'd already been in the editing process, thinking about cuts and music. 

And now it all came crashing down on him. Taking in Noah's face, the hope in his eyes, the soft knowing smile on his lips, his heart stuttered heavily. 

"I know you've been busy," Noah murmured, caressing Dan's face, "but hopefully-" 

Dan kissed the words right off his lips. Noah inhaled sharply, molding himself against Dan's body. His hands in his hair tightened, and Dan hissed at the slight pain. A strangled noise filled his ears as Noah pulled him impossibly closer, swiping his tongue over Dan's lower lip. They both groaned. This had nothing of the kisses they had shared on camera. This was hot and wet and oh so new. Dan let his jaw go slack, helpless against the whirlwind of emotions suddenly washing over him. And Noah took full advantage of it. Another dark groan filled Dan's ears as Noah's tongue slid into his mouth, not so gently searching his. His entire body felt as if it was on fire, every point of contact with Noah's skin was burning brightly. 

Dan scrambled for a hold on Noah's shirt as Noah deepened the kiss, very quickly reducing Dan to a trembling mess. They kissed until they couldn't breathe anymore. Noah pulled back just enough so they could gasp for air. His forehead was pressed against Dan's, fingers sliding through his hair, making a right mess out of it. 

Dan didn't care. He was drowning in Noah's eyes, seeing so many emotions in them. And he knew the same emotions, suppressed for the sake of the show, were splashed all over his own face, clear as day for Noah to see. 

"I've wanted to do that for so long." Noah's voice was full of longing, and it sent a shiver down Dan's spine. He tried to say something, but his voice wasn't functioning anymore. Noah saw his struggle. Smiling softly he brushed even softer kisses over Dan's cheeks, his nose, his lips, letting him adjust. 

"I knew this wasn't really an option before," he said as Dan took a few steadying breaths, "and I had intended to wait a little longer, let you deal with ending the show first. For that I'm sorry. I know you're all over the place right now. Emotions running high, and maybe it's too soon. I just wanted you to know. I've been wanting you for quite some time now, Daniel. Working with you has been the greatest joy of my life. And when I realized that I was falling for you, I knew I couldn't tell you. You're technically my boss. I didn't want to complicate things. Your birthday, well, it didn't really help, but at least I knew there was something worth waiting for." He chuckled, and the sound weakened Dan's already wobbly knees. "Even though it was hard. Toughest exercise in self control I've had in a very long time." Leaning back to look at Dan's face, he ran a hand through his tousled hair, pushing it out of his flushed face. 

Dan exhaled, squeezing his eyes shut to concentrate. He consciously loosened the grip on Noah's shirt, smoothing it down. His senses were heightened, so he noticed Noah's sharp inhale and the quivers that ran through his body at his touch. 

He couldn't look at Noah or he would lose it completely. He inhaled his familiar scent, letting it calm his racing heart. Noah kept still, patiently waiting. His fingers unconsciously caressing Dan's scalp was oddly calming. Eventually he felt enough in control to face him. Opening his eyes, he steeled himself for the sight. 

Noah was smiling at him, one of those small ones Dan liked so much. He had watched him too many times to know that this was just for him. It sent another sharp hot jolt through him. 

"Yes," Dan croaked, knowing he didn't really make sense. But he also knew Noah would know what he meant. And what he needed. 

Noah's hands left his hair, framing his face so gently that Dan wanted to weep. 

"Oh Daniel." Just two words, and they carried so much wonder, so much affection, that Dan couldn't help the quiet whine that escaped his throat. 

Noah kissed it away, groaning into Dan's mouth. Gentle at first, before deepening it, erasing the last bits of flimsy hope that Dan could ever reject him. Dan melted into his embrace, into his kisses, knowing he would hold him, keep him from falling apart in his arms. As he'd always done, and probably always would. 

Eventually they had to stop; the noises from outside were getting louder, and Dan could hear someone asking for him. 

"Guess we should join the party," Noah murmured, unsuccessfully trying to smooth Dan's hair back into shape. 

"I guess," he said, even though it was the furthest from what he actually wanted. 

Wordlessly they tried to fix their rumpled clothes; Noah fussed over Dan's hair again until Dan caught his hands in his. 

"It's fine," he said. Noah stared at him, faux shock on his glowing features. 

"Oh, THAT's how it is," he said after a long pause, "that's good to know." He grinned and the happiness in it made Dan bite his lip to keep from ravishing him right there and then. 

Noah growled. "Can you not?" 

Dan was confused. "What?" 

Noah took a step back. "You, biting your lip like that. It's... indecent." 

Dan stared at him for a second and then burst into laughter. 

"Indecent?" he asked when he was able to breathe again. 

Noah was glaring at him, amusement in his eyes belying his words: "It IS. It's one of those things that are so sexy that I can't be held accountable for my actions around you." 

Dan kept chuckling, shaking his head. "I will try to control myself around you then." 

"God, please don't." Noah grinned, kissing him quickly before he straightened himself. "Or do. I'm doomed anyway when you're around so-" He winked at Dan before he stalked to the door, peaking out. 

"See you later," he said over his shoulder as he left the room, leaving the door wide open. 

Dan was still chuckling as he followed him, casting one last look into the room that changed his life in so many ways. 

"See you later," he whispered into the warm golden air, closing the door softly.


End file.
